On Dating.. Is it Old Fashion? Is it the New Fashion? Just ask

I have been talking to women about men lately and man we have had some great conversations. I find it interesting that many of the women are having the same experience. And that is, they meet a man, the man seems to be interested…they are attentive, they talk to them every time they see them, give them eye contact, sometimes an exchange of a touch or hugs and then nothing happens. Some women have even been told that it is in their court to make the move by men. The majority of these women are desiring men to take the initiative and ask them out. What can I say, I am not a dating coach, I am a relationship coach, it is completely different…dating is a completely different animal. I personally know what to do once in a committed relationship, it is my happy place, it is the place I love, but the dating part, that is the hard part for me now. As I come from an age where if a man is interested they asked me lunch, if that goes well and they feel I am interested in, there is dinner, a show, a movie, start meeting the friends, hikes, etc…it was easy. As everyone knew where they stood. Nowadays I read about coaches telling women to let men know they are interested. I talk to men about it and they say they LOVE it when women take the initiative and ask them out.

Now…this is ONLY my experience…every time I have initiated with a man it never goes more then a few dates. If I am patient and let the men come around to asking me out, it may go into relationship. My old fashion mind says it is because I let him chase, I let him come after me. But then I hear things from other women that say they made the first move and now they are together or married…and that is great. So far, that hasn’t been my experience. All my life if I wanted to hang out with someone, mind you much of my life I just looked at people as people and not a relationship interest, I just asked them to hang out. As I have gotten older I see this is strange for men, and even for me at times. As there seems to always be this thing in the space of someone is wondering “are they interested”? or “I am interested” instead of just enjoying the other persons company. The truth is, most all my life I have connected with men better than women, I understand them better, we have great conversations, I have fun with men, our minds are much more in sync. So this dating, non dating, friendship thing, who initiates, who doesn’t, drives me crazy. My truth is this, I miss the old days, it felt so simple, guy meets girl, guy asks girl out, girl says yes or no, one girl says yes, you go out, if it goes well, you go out again, and eventually it turns into something…there is time to get to know each other, many chances to ask questions, learn what you have in common, find out who you are actually sharing time and space with. The excitement of holding hands for the first time or the first time in public, kissing, all of that….that is wonderful. Dating now seems like a rush to the bedroom…and as much as I coach on s*xuality, and I love that aspect of life and relationship, there is something so nourishing to feel safe knowing who I’m waking up to in the morning. Just to let you know, for me personally, what I'd like is, if someone is interested, (and they live near me), just ask me out…if I am interested I will say yes. If you want to get to know each other to see if there is interest…great, let’s go for a walk or hike. I don’t know if I am s*xually attracted in anyone until I’ve talked with them at least 3 times anyway. My mind needs to be perked, stimulated, and inspired, then when that happens my heart gets engaged and then everything can open and turn on from there! When I share this with the women in my life, they can relate and they say they want to same thing. I feel like the world has done this full cycle of men initiating, then there was the female revolution where women took charge and now some women are coming back to wanting men to initiate, to be taken out and to be get to be back in their feminine and let men take the front seat again, not in everything, but at least at the beginning of dating. I don’t speak for all women or all men, I’m just saying this is from the conversations I’ve been having with women lately…if it supports you, great, if you can relate, wonderful, if you have a different reality, wonderful. And from what I can see some people feel less alone if they know they aren’t the only ones going through something…so I share my experience here so you know, if you have had this experience, you are not alone! Can you relate to this at all? If so, put Yes or a heart in the comments!