Intimacy

Intimacy starts long before even kissing or touching someone. It starts with energy…how you feel when you see your partner, if you really let them see you, and feel where you are. Do you let them see you are hurting, angry or outrageously joyous? Intimacy can start with a look, the way you move your body, how you eat your food while looking at them.

And intimacy starts long before the clothes come off, in fact, I’d say 90% of intimacy is with our clothes on and how we connect…share, touch, laugh, and cry with each other…on the phone, in person. Intimacy is how much we allow ourselves to be seen in the moment, feel into each other, this can be with a friend, lover and even pet.

Sometimes we can go deep with no words at all and sometimes with the deepest, truest words we’ve ever shared with someone. I have witnessed people crack wide open because their partner has shared their deepest truth with them.

How willing are you to be seen and felt in all of you? Share what you really want and need? Connect heart to heart. Some of the most intimate times in my life have been silent- in dance, eye gazing, caressing and then the complete opposite of share my heart completely verbally.

I was talking to someone the other day, about relationship and s*x and she said “people don’t usually talk about this topic. It is like it is forbidden”, she was relieved to be talking about it. She is right, so many don’t talk about it, and it is time for us to talk about the hard stuff, the “forbidden stuff”, as what is hidden grows mold and gets bigger, and when we shed light on it, start talking about it even a little bit, it can start to heal. Our fears get less big instead or grow huge, our dreams can get bigger instead of die inside of us. Our intimate lives can get better instead of shrink inside of us. How intimate are you willing to be with the people in your life?

Many people feel Tantra is all about s*x, when really I see it as a path to intimacy, connection, authenticity and it is a spiritual practice of being in the moment and being present with what is…I’d say this is intimacy, with self and others.