Embodying MY Divine Feminine 

These past few weeks have been powerful ones!  Around my birthday I always get a download on what my intention is for the up coming year…and this one is HUGE and challenging for me! One part of it to embody my Divine Feminine in all her power…something that is so very foreign to this tomboy that climbed trees higher than boys, ran faster than most, was trained to take care of myself and not rely up on a man. 

Well there is something deeply calling me…calling me to come back to the feminine, that side of me that is powerful…and yes soft…that side of me that I bury every time it wants to show up if I’m not in an intimate relationship…for being in my soft feminine feels like it is only safe when I’m in an intimate relationship. But now…now it wants to come alive, be held, be opened and be seen, even outside an intimate relationship…this is vulnerable it is challenging, it goes against everything I have been trained growing up. And there are a few parts to it…I want a man to be there as my rock, I want to be “taken care” of in ways that men can take care of women. It’s not that I can’t…it’s that I don’t want to do everything any longer and I'm learning that it feeds men to do things for us, they love it…and then whether it be partnership with amazing powerful women where we work together, support and grow together…or take days to do creative work together, bask in the glow of my own flow and divinity, and be in a relationship that really serves me, lifts me up, holds me and supports me in my work….the things I have always done in my relationships but have never allowed myself to fully receive that back. 

Now it’s time for me to learn this. And even though it’s only a few weeks into this intention, and at the beginning I was really resistant when talking to some of my men friends about what they love about real “feminine” women, which is the opposite of everything I am….though I realize I am finding “MY” feminine. It doesn’t have to look “that way”, it can look my way. And the truth is….even just 2 weeks into this I FEEL amazing!

Something is transforming and alive in me that I’ve never felt. I’m at peace, I am taking my time, I am relaxing, I am no longer upset when people are late…or better yet…when I’m LATE…heaven forbid. I actually told a friend the other day “I’m running 30 minutes late” as I knew I wanted more time in nature…something I’d never do before, and it felt amazing to be true to my flow, to be true to my feminine essence…and to be well received in that. I am loving finding the balance of being able to be on time, and when it’s perfect to be in my nature movement of space and time!

I don’t know how this year will shift and change me…show me who I am in my feminine…but I know this…so far I have been in more connection, more women are in my life, deeper conversations that I love, are happening in my life, I’m not caring so much of what people think of me. My creative side is craving to be activated…singing, dancing, listening to music, sewing, dying clothes, making DVD’s and even being still…yes the creativity of stillness! I am back reading again, something I haven’t done in over a year. That feels so filling to my heart…as it used to be a daily thing for me…Now I have space inside…space to read, space to give more, space to be present for others, all because I’m giving space to me…I’m receiving that space…being in my feminine I am receiving even that which I cannot see..but I can feel…and that in and of it’s self is wondrous! Turning on the Receiving button within me…what a joyous thing to celebrate…now to practice it more and more…as I am not fully comfortable in it yet. But like everything…it is a practice and now I am ready to practice!

The fear of being me is slowly leaving…and that is amazing…and funny enough I feel some fear is writing that…but it is my truth. I am unwinding something deep within me that has needed to unraveled…and I am excited about it. 

I am grateful for the male friends in my life that have given me insight of what they love in a feminine woman…it has really opened something in me…it is showing me what men in their masculine is really wanting….and though I have no interest in changing me to fit into that box…I have an interest in finding my own feminine, within my power…to graciously receive what the masculine, as well as the feminine and the Universe and nature wants to give so beautifully. Letting it all in abundantly and in my own flow. It feels like it’s a “getting to know” my feminine me…who is that and what does she want and how does she want to be. It is coming from inside me, and flowing outward. Even though I’ve been given information from outside, really my work is shifting me on the inside. For example…I was walking on the beach the other day, I was all flowy and soft and then something inside me said “I want to walk more quickly and fiercely”…I had a judgement it was masculine…but I found my feminine in that and it was a balance I hadn’t really consciously looked at before that turned out to be quite perfect!

So….I am blossoming into the feminine that is me, finding balance and flow, accepting and loving me and all my energies as I move through this powerful and yet vulnerable time. Look out for some new Live videos on here soon…as it is time to start going in that direction. Bliss and love!